Mind

We Only Fall In Love When We Decide To Do It, Not Because it Happens to Us

What is love? It’s not something you can buy at the nearest store. It’s not something that’s taught at school or university, it doesn’t depend on how rich you are, how smart you are, or your race and religion. Yet, every human being’s utmost desire is to find true love and keep it.

Throughout the years, the epic love songs, cartoons, movies, books have all contributed to the way we romanticize the idea of love. We spend our lives hanging on to the thought that “you don’t choose to fall in love, it just happens, that’s why you ‘fall'”. We believe love is waiting to be found, that it’s sort of like a tangible thing that exists as its own entity. So, when you meet “the one”, you’ll fall in love, and find love, right?

Contrary to this opinion, love is actually not something that happens to you. It can never be found. It doesn’t exist, unless you allow it to exist. It’s a decision you make and continue to do so because you know how good it feels and you yearn to experience it constantly. Love is like sending a text. If you never send it, you won’t get a return. It’s something you consciously choose to do, not something you feel because something happened to you.

In reality, love stems from your actions and decisions. If you don’t feel love, or you’re not experiencing love, there must be something stopping you from choosing to do something about it! Unfortunately, many people spend their adult love waiting for love to happen, searching for the right person and end up being alone.

According to Wikipedia, love is an experience related to a strong sense of affection. In turn, affection is a “disposition or state of mind or body”, which is often associated with a feeling or a kind of love. What this means is, you do something instead of having something done to you.

But, what’s the best way to feel affection for anyone? By deciding to show someone love, admire them, pay attention to them, treat them well and find the good in them. And at some point, you will develop an affection for them. On the other hand, if you treat them bad, lie to them and neglect them, you will never feel affection for them.

When the initial affection passes and you choose to embrace true love is when the real test begins. There will be times when you won’t want to deal with all the drama and problems of your partner. There will be times when you would act in a rather unloving and selfish way. And it is in those moments that you have to decide: will you choose to love or not? Once you know the answer, you’ll know exactly what to do.

In any case, even though ideal love doesn’t exist, you shouldn’t settle for anything less. As long as you understand that you don’t find love, but create it, you can make love work. So, don’t let it slip away. Make a decision to love and follow that decision with loving actions and admiration.

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