He Told Me That I Needed To Change If I Still Wanted To Be With Him
This is not addressed to caring husbands, loving fathers, dedicated boyfriends, busy housewives, business women and so on…. No, this is mostly addressed to teenage girls (being more vulnerable when it comes to relationships, due to their age), women in general who THINK they need to change in order to be or keep someone in their lives, and even men who are constantly being nagged about not being good enough!
I must also state that this is not a feminist post throwing all men or women in one pot or written out of frustration…. no, I sincerely hope that it WILL help everyone who thinks he/she is not worthy of love!
First of all, keeping someone in your life who doesn’t appreciate you enough, keeping someone by force, sticking to people who are not suitable for your personality and not letting go of people in general, is not healthy at all!
Learning that the Universe brings you the people that you need in an exact point of your life so that you would learn something from them or from the experience, is the biggest lesson of all! So, trying to stick to old patterns and people is a huge mistake. What has worked in the past, does not and will not work for the present or future! You are not the same, as while every second passes by, you are receiving new bits of information through your senses and you are confronted with NEW life experiences! How will old patterns work? It is simply impossible! So, embrace the present, however difficult it may seem, and only in that way will you be able to attract a better tomorrow.
The second aspect that I wanted to talk about is CHANGING FOR SOMEONE ELSE. Asking somebody to change for you, as well as being asked to change in order to satisfy someone else’s tastes or to fit the image that THEY have for a perfect partner, is wrong on so many levels!
Furthermore, I must add that change is good, and trying to be better than yesterday is a positive trait, but doing that for someone else and not for yourself is wrong.
Firstly, if your partner doesn’t accept you such as you are, he/she tries to manipulate or mold you until you are FIT, that is something you should recognize and steer clear from. If you are not ready for a change, and you are being forced into it, don’t do it, even if it is a positive change; maybe you will implement it, just a bit further into the future. And have in mind that everybody is a complicated psychological being. People build their image for an ideal partner even from the earliest ages. Parents, society and other aspects play the most significant role while building the image. So, how could you tell if the image your partner has is actually good? In any case, if it doesn’t fit with yours, makes you regret stuff you did in the past, makes you have feelings of guilt or you simply aren’t the person he/she wants you to be, leave. You WILL find someone who is fit for you, as soon as you let go of the unhealthy relationship!
And second, when you are accepted, you are left with feelings of appreciation, gratitude and love. Being loved and loving someone EXACTLY as they are is the best gift we could ever receive and give. These relationships inspire us to become a better person with each passing day!
So, learn to let go, love and respect yourself and move on to a better life experience! You have already learned from the one you are in!